Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 years to learn

The badness of a movie is directly proportional
to the number of helicopters in it.

You will never find anybody who can give you a
clear and compelling reason why we observe
daylight-saving time.

You should never say anything to a woman that
even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant
unless you can see an actual baby emerging from
her at that moment.

The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic
status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average
drivers.

There comes a time when you should stop
expecting other people to make a big deal about
your birthday. That time is: age 11.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and
"mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views
with you almost never want you to share yours
with them.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason
why the human race has not achieved, and never
will achieve, its full potential, that word would
be "meetings."

The main accomplishment of almost all organized
protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

If there really is a God who created the entire
universe with all of its glories, and he decides
to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use
as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad
hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the
waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way
to take it too seriously.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is
always one individual who perceives a solution and
is willing to take command. Very often, that
individual is crazy.

Your true friends love you, anyway.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up
and dance.