California Bumper Stickers...

Save the trees... Wipe your butt with an owl.

Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.

If you can read this, my wife fell off! (Seen on the back of a biker's vest.)

If you can beat me, you can eat me! (seen on a Corvette driven by a
"drop-dead gorgeous blonde")

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?!

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.

A pat on the back is only a foot away from a kick in the ass.

Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected.

Feel safe tonight ... Sleep with a cop.

Remember: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.

GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Boldly going nowhere.

Cat: The other white meat.

CAUTION - Driver legally blonde

Don't be sexist -- Broads hate that!

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

He's not dead, He's electro-encephalographically challenged

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets

If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition